Recently on Facebook, I made a somewhat bitter post saying "Where's the book titled 'So Your Prince Turned Back Into A Toad'? Because I would like to read it."
The comment went without notice for several hours and just when I was trying to figure out how to delete the comment (I felt guilty for being so bitter), my creative writing teacher from my homeschooling days posted that I should write said book. This created a string of comments with similar responses. I quickly realized I didn't have nearly enough to say on the topic and understood that most people probably wouldn't appreciate relationship advice coming from a nineteen year old girl.
But let me start from the beginning, why I wrote the comment in the first place.
I know some of you probably guessed this, but I did end up dating Alec from the Australia trip. We dated this whole summer and I felt completely blindsided when he broke up with me, three weeks ago.
Now I've never been the type to think that every single relationship I've ever had was meant to last forever. I'm not the sappy romantic type (unless it's romantic comedies, then I'm a mushy mess) but I'm more rational and realistic when it comes to my own love life. However, Alec and I had a relationship that seemed almost possible to last for a long time, or at least longer than one summer.
These past three weeks I let my bitterness take too much control, and I let myself turn into a toad.
I did actually start to write something more along the lines of men being the toads but when I reread it, I realized how pompous and ridiculous I sounded. I don't want to be the girl that tells the world that men are nothing but hypocritical pigs, because in actuality I don't think they are.
In a lot of relationship stories I've heard, it's the women who cause the problems, who bring the relationship to the point where it either boils over and douses the fire or where it reaches a point of calm and happiness.
I know a friend who's sister was in a relationship and her boyfriend had yet to propose after years and years of dating. One evening the girl confronted him about it and it turned into their biggest knock down drag out fight ever, but it ended with them engaged. When I first heard the story I thought 'wow good for her, standing her ground.' but the more I think about it, the more I think, he knew he wanted to marry her and be with her, he just wasn't quite ready to propose. Why did it have to be on her watch and not his?
Or my coworker who was at her breaking point because her boyfriend wasn't proposing, but when he finally got down on his knee, she ran away! Not literally but she backed up and kept telling him to get up and asking him what he was doing. Of course she's happily engaged now but I just think it's a little weird how us girls want something so badly that we demand it and demand it and then when we finally get it, it's either disappointing, not what we expected, or we realize how bratty we maybe were being.
When I was little I wasn't Daddy's little Princess, I was Peaches, I was Puke (yeah there's a story behind that one) and I was Sweet Pea. My parents raised me to be respectful and honest in life and for that I am very grateful. My dad used to tell me that whenever a relationship ends (romantic or otherwise), I should always try to leave on the most positive note so that if that person ever turns up in my life again, we won't have a negative start to a new relationship. The best example he used to give me was what if they end up being my boss someday and I end up being theirs. I feel like in our society now, especially with social medias, it's too easy to hide behind a keyboard and say things you maybe wouldn't say otherwise. To end a relationship with harsh words and simply "block" any further messages from them. But you can't do that in real life. I get this feeling, maybe it's just me, but that in today's world a lot of girls think that guys should spoil them and treat them like royalty just like their dad's did. Instead of "Princess", boyfriends dub their girlfriends "Babe". I know it's not the same exact thing but it's our Dad's job to spoil us a little right? I don't want my boyfriend to spoil me, I would rather be on a team with him. I would rather be in a relationship built on respect, trust and love than one built on getting whatever I want when I want.
Maybe the title of this post should be: When Princess Turn Into Toads, because when I think of how bitter and awful I've been for three weeks, I want to turn myself into one.
I don't think Alec will ever read this, but if he does, I hope he knows how sorry I am.
